More than two years have passed since the world lost Paul O’Grady, the beloved television presenter, comedian, writer, and animal welfare advocate whose unique blend of humor, kindness, and empathy made him a cherished figure in British entertainment and beyond. His sudden passing in March 2023 at the age of 67, due to cardiac arrhythmia, left millions mourning a man whose warmth and authenticity had touched countless lives. Yet, even in death, Paul’s story has continued to unfold, culminating in a long-awaited moment of closure and celebration — the installation of a permanent headstone at his gravesite in Kent, fulfilling a heartfelt wish to be laid to rest alongside his longtime partner, Brendan Murphy. Paul’s journey was marked not only by his groundbreaking television career but by a deeply personal love story that resonated quietly yet powerfully over decades. Brendan Murphy, who passed away from a brain tumour in 2005, was Paul’s soulmate and constant companion during
More than two years have passed since the world lost Paul O’Grady, the beloved television presenter, comedian, writer, and animal welfare advocate whose unique blend of humor, kindness, and empathy made him a cherished figure in British entertainment and beyond. His sudden passing in March 2023 at the age of 67, due to cardiac arrhythmia, left millions mourning a man whose warmth and authenticity had touched countless lives. Yet, even in death, Paul’s story has continued to unfold, culminating in a long-awaited moment of closure and celebration — the installation of a permanent headstone at his gravesite in Kent, fulfilling a heartfelt wish to be laid to rest alongside his longtime partner, Brendan Murphy.
Paul’s journey was marked not only by his groundbreaking television career but by a deeply personal love story that resonated quietly yet powerfully over decades. Brendan Murphy, who passed away from a brain tumour in 2005, was Paul’s soulmate and constant companion during much of his life. Though Brendan’s death left a profound void, their love endured in Paul’s memories, in his words, and in the quiet spaces of his life away from the public eye.
For more than two years following Paul’s passing, his grave at St Rumwold’s Churchyard in Bonnington was marked only by modest wooden crosses and small personal mementos left by fans and friends who came to pay their respects. The absence of a permanent marker did not reflect the depth of affection and devotion that Paul had for Brendan, nor the significance of their relationship in his life. Those who knew Paul understood that a proper memorial was long overdue, and the wait for an official headstone was a reflection of both bureaucratic challenges and a careful desire to honor Paul’s memory with dignity and love.
Earlier this week, Paul’s husband, Andre Portasio, took to Instagram to share the deeply moving news that after a lengthy application process and much patience, the headstone had finally been installed. Andre’s post was filled with gratitude and emotion, expressing the relief and joy that came with seeing Paul’s and Brendan’s names united in stone at last:
“After two and a half years since Paul’s passing, many meetings, paperwork, and a long wait, we have finally laid the final design of Paul’s headstone at his grave. It’s a beautiful moment that brings a sense of peace to us all. To see his name alongside Brendan’s, just as he wished, means more than words can say.”
The dark grey stone is elegant and understated, yet rich with meaning. It bears the names of Paul O’Grady and Brendan Murphy, side by side, symbolizing a love that transcended time, tragedy, and the challenges of life. Atop the headstone rests a delicate figurine of Buster, Paul’s beloved dog, who was not just a pet but a constant source of joy and companionship throughout Paul’s career and personal life. Buster was a familiar face to many viewers of The Paul O’Grady Show, often appearing alongside Paul and offering a glimpse into his affectionate nature.
The news of the headstone’s installation was met with an outpouring of emotion from fans and admirers worldwide. Social media became a space for heartfelt tributes and stories about how Paul’s openness, humor, and generosity had inspired them. Many expressed deep appreciation for the decision to include Brendan’s name, highlighting the importance of recognizing same-sex love openly and respectfully, especially for public figures whose stories have helped pave the way for greater acceptance.
One fan commented, “It makes me so happy to see Brendan’s name there too. Their love story was beautiful and should be remembered for generations. This headstone is a testament to their bond and to the love Paul carried in his heart every day.” Others echoed this sentiment, describing the memorial as “moving,” “inspirational,” and “a fitting tribute to a truly extraordinary man.”
Andre, speaking candidly about his own grief and the journey of preserving Paul’s memory, shared, “I miss him dearly every day. There are moments when the loss feels overwhelming, but knowing that his final resting place is now complete brings a measure of comfort. I hope Paul would be proud of how his memory is being honored. The headstone captures not just who he was, but the love he shared with Brendan — and that means everything.”
In addition to their names, the headstone features one of Paul’s favorite quotations, chosen by Andre to reflect Paul’s spirit and values. It is a timeless line from the French Renaissance philosopher Michel de Montaigne:
“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be one’s own self.”
This powerful motto encapsulates Paul’s life philosophy — a call to authenticity, courage, and self-acceptance that he lived by publicly, especially during times when being open about his identity was less accepted. Throughout his career, Paul used his platform not only to entertain but to champion causes close to his heart, including animal welfare, LGBT rights, and mental health awareness, encouraging others to embrace their true selves and stand proudly in their individuality.
Since the headstone’s unveiling, the gravesite at St Rumwold’s has become a place of reflection and remembrance, drawing visitors who wish to honor Paul’s legacy. Many have described the site as “serene” and “beautiful,” a quiet sanctuary where the laughter, love, and kindness Paul shared can still be felt. It stands as more than a memorial; it is a symbol of progress and hope — a public recognition of a same-sex relationship in a sacred space, affirming the dignity and worth of all love.
Andre continues to keep Paul’s memory alive through intimate and meaningful rituals. Each year, on the anniversary of Paul’s death, he watches old footage of Paul’s television shows and interviews, remembering the man behind the public persona — the warmth, humor, and boundless generosity that endeared Paul to so many. These moments of quiet reflection help keep Paul’s spirit vibrant and ensure his story continues to inspire.
Paul O’Grady’s life was one of laughter and compassion, resilience and authenticity. His journey, intertwined with Brendan’s love and shared with their faithful companion Buster, left an indelible mark on the world. Their story reminds us that love, in all its forms, is a powerful force that transcends adversity and time.
Now, with the permanent headstone in place, Paul and Brendan’s legacy is immortalized — a lasting tribute carved in stone that invites all who visit to reflect on the importance of love, truth, and living fully. The memorial stands as a beacon for those who seek comfort, inspiration, and courage in their own lives, a testament to a love that will never fade and a life that continues to shine brightly in the hearts of all who knew him and all who admired him from afar.
